Hold the phone.
Actually, don’t. Put the phone down and walk away slowly. A new study reports that on average most people are now swiping on their phones up to 2,000 times a day.
That’s right. Two thousand.
Good grief. That plus our Netflix consumption and the day is pretty much done, am I right?
If you’re raising your hand, you’re so not alone. If you own a smartphone (hello, world) then you’ve likely wrestled with controlling it and not letting it control you.
So here’s the definitive truth.
Warning: it may not be pretty. The good news: there is hope. Really, there is (learn how to unplug here).
You. . .
1. Check your phone before you pee. Sorry (not sorry), but admit it’s true.
2. Freak out if you realize you’ve left your phone somewhere you can’t retrieve it.
3. Feel the physical urge to check, check, check, check all. day. long… and give in to it.
4. Ignore the people you are actually with to scroll a feed of someone you never talk to in real life.
5. Get withdrawal symptoms when you go somewhere without cell reception. My precioooouuusss.
6. Feel like you may quite literally die if you don’t get the newest phone the day of its release. Hello, preorder.
7. If your phone were to break, so would your heart. Your heart would not go on.
8. Must have it within your reach at all times. Period. Eating, sleeping, going to the bathroom. Doesn’t matter. Robin is forever by your side.
9. You miss the moment. You ignore things that are amazing, like your spouse’s eyes or that amazing susnet, and opt for another Facebook political rant on your feed that honestly, you don’t even care about anyway.
10. Your phone is always on. Like, always. While you watch tv, you really watch your phone screen. While you sit for 30 seconds at a stoplight, might as well check that notification. Everything revolves around that tiny, mesmerizing screen.
Until next time, lifers.
“Facebook is like a fridge. You keep checking it, but there’s nothing…12 December, 2017