Over Your Ex Or Not? Here’s Exactly How To Know

“This relationship is over, though my stomach still hurts, and now I’ve grown a little older, why is the pain much worse?”

-Maroon 5

Wondering if you’re really over your ex?

The test is simple.

If you’re in the “yes” column, for sure.

If you find yourself still in the “no” column, get some tissues and rocky road and watch The Notebook again. It’s okay to wallow (just not for too long).

1. YES: You don’t wonder incessantly.

NO:

Who is she with? What is she doing? What is she wearing? Is she smilingIs she missing me

2. YES: You aren’t jealous when you see them affectionate with someone else. 

NO:

Just the thought of him with someone else makes you want to gouge your eyes out. Or maybe just punch that girl he’s with. Either way.

3. YES: You’re more interested in looking forward than going back.

NO:

What if? What might have been? Maybe it’s not too late.

4. YES: You don’t check their social media accounts 412 times a day. 

NO:

Wait, why is she in town? Who is that guy she just added?

Man, she looks great in that pic. (Former stalkers, take a bow.)

5. YES: Everything- and I mean everything- no longer reminds you of them.

NO:

Did they write this song about him? That quote is exactly like our relationship.

This movie is everything I’ve felt for him, but couldn’t say. Oh look… the sunset. 

6. YES: They’re not your first and last thought every single day.

NO:

(*Insert Name & Pining*)  Hello, darling. I dreamt of you.

7. YES: You don’t compare every new person you meet against them (as an ideal standard).

NO:

Sure, that new girl is amazing and gorgeous and has legs for days, but she just isn’t her. *Insert dramatic sigh*

8. YES: Truth be told . . . You kinda don’t even miss them anymore.

NO:

No, you hang up first!

9. YES: You can go an entire day without thinking of them (and don’t even have to try). 

NO:

I haven’t stalked him in twelve minutes. I’m clearly over it completely.

10. YES: You aren’t reading this right now wondering if they’re actually over you. 

NO:

Let me just post this real quick on my Facebook to prove I’m so over her. *sits and waits obsessively for proof she’s been online*

Until next time, lifers.

XO,

Emily

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